Official FAQ for dfw.singles and dfw.personals

This is the official FAQ file for dfw.singles & dfw.personals.

A text Version of this FAQ can always be found at http://www.davidv.net/~dfw/
The Charters for both groups are located at http://www.cirr.com/dfw/

This file contains the following topics:

  1. What is this file?
  2. What is dfw.singles ?
  3. Who is dfw.singles for?
  4. Guidelines for posting to dfw.singles & dfw.personals.
  5. How dfw.singles is a companion to dfw.personals.
  6. Do women read and post to the group?
  7. GTGs, Social Outings, Net-gatherings.
  8. Kill Files
  9. How dfw.singles is a party in many ways.
  10. Excerpts taken from another regional singles group.
  11. Article format and posting guidelines
  12. Ending Statement.

What is this file?

This is, very simply, a file containing what people refer to as "Frequently Asked Questions". It is nothing more than a list of questions and answers for readers to use as a guide line for the newsgroup.

What is dfw.singles?

dfw.singles is a newsgroup for singles as well as married folks. It is meant for all people of Dallas/Ft. Worth, Tx. It is also open to other communities. This is a newsgroup where people can meet and communicate through the internet.

  1. It is open to discussions related to romance, love, interaction among people.
  2. It is open to discussions related to forming new relationships of any kind. Thus, conversations related to the above, as well as discussions to allow social meetings by and for the readers on this group and dfw.personals group, "gtg" is the net term for group get-togethers.
  3. It is a newsgroup in which many and all forms of communication can be found for the sole purpose of forming new friendships of any type.
  4. The dfw.singles and the dfw.personals work as companions in the same purpose, this will be further discussed later.
  5. The above two groups are NOT moderated, thus all free speech values are intact within these groups. This also means that no one person is in control of who posts here, other than your local systems administrator (sysadmin/sysop). The sysops are responsible for deciding which newsgroups to carry locally and over seeing the newsgroups and files they choose to carry. There are general guide lines for posting that are highly recommended and are listed below.

Who is dfw.singles for?

dfw.singles is for everyone. You will find all types of people. It is open to heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, singles (available), married and people in open relationships so, in general, it is open to the entire public.

Guidelines for posting to dfw.singles.

Keep in mind, as stated above, this is not a moderated group. First, realize that posting is NOT a right but a privilege. This implies access can be withdrawn by your local operators. This is usually a very drastic step and usually after many violations/warnings. If you remember that dfw.singles is a regional newsgroup to Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas. meant for
  1. discussion,
  2. joking with others,
  3. event notices and planning you will do just fine.

The basic rule of the road is, courtesy. Courtesy should always be extended both on and off the group. So you may disagree with someone's point of view, you may want to flame someone or you may want to go through private e-mail, BUT always use courtesy no matter how upset you may feel. It is one thing to flame someone on the group in humor and wit but it is another to humiliate them, this is not advised.

I stress that all personal disputes be kept off the group. Take your personal disputes into e-mail and or a newsgroup that serves that purpose, i.e. alt.flame., dfw.flame, etc.

When addressing someone by private e-mail always show courtesy. I read another FAQ where I saw the following statements and feel it is best summed up by this: Never send a letter to a woman you don't know which you would be ashamed or embarrassed to show your mother. In other words DO NOT send wanna f**ks to posters.

Posting can take many shapes and forms: You can post discussion topics that are either serious or light hearted in nature, you can even use flames with wit and humor in your postings. It has been my experience that by using all of those methods you will meet people (that is one of the goals here). The point is, by posting in all its forms and allowing readers to see you and your personality it will increase your chances of someone responding to you. Posting to dfw.singles should NOT be included with other groups. There are exceptions, with cautions. I strongly urge you to keep all discussions to dfw.singles and use caution in any cross postings. In other words NO personals ads in the dfw.singles and NO chit-chat, discussions in dfw.personals. dfw.personals is to be used for placing personal ads, responding to these ads, discussion on how to write personal ads, and final announcements for our net-gatherings. A note that in general cross posting to many groups outside of this group is very dangerous and can cause much headache among fellow readers. As well as cross posting into other dfw groups.

So you now want to post and are looking for possible guidelines for this. First, take a step back and think about what you want to say, and the point you wish to make. Do not just rush in without thinking about it.

  1. Try to minimize what you want to say, and if by chance it turns out be a very long post you may want to put on the subject line (LONG). This will alert the readers that it is a long post, as some people pay big money for time and space.
  2. Avoid using capitals as this is looked upon as shouting at the readers. Tailor your line length to 80 characters or less, as this is the most common for a screen display. I would recommend maybe 74 characters per line or less.
  3. This is a written medium, so I suggest that you try good spelling and grammar. However, as one of those people who does not type except by hunt and peck method and tends not to pay attention to spelling much, I do not recommend we have spelling flame wars here as I will roast anyone that does, but in fine humor and wit. The overall point is you should try to present yourself the best way you can and that this is not dfw.spelling.class.
  4. Things NOT appreciated in dfw.singles or & dfw.personals:
    1. Evangelizing
    2. Commercial solicitations
    3. Posting image or sound files
    4. Cross posting articles of discussion into non-regional groups that could result in flame wars.
    5. Personal disputes.
    6. Quoting someone else's article in the entirety, to only add one line.
    7. Posting personal ads in dfw.singles. There is dfw.personals for this. However, dfw.singles people should not cause a major flame war if someone does this from time to time. Send the person a short note reminding them of no personals, and where they can post them, maybe a flame or two but unlike some *.singles groups this should not become the major focus of dfw.singles (flaming personals ads). That also goes for posting discussions into dfw.personals that are out of character.
    8. Posting someone's private e-mail. Private e-mail is just that, private do not post other peoples private e-mail on the group. I tend to believe there are exceptions to this, with a stress in caution. If you are receiving hate mail, nasty letters, wannaf**ks I personally do not think this is wrong. It will serve many purposes, reduce amount of people sending these, it will allow peer pressure on these types of people and will put a fast stop to it.I do recommend caution and also to suggest that if someone is getting this type of mail, you can send a note to that persons admin, abuse@ or just send to postmaster@that.persons.domain with a note informing them of the activities you are receiving from their user.
  5. Canceling of Articles and Cross Posting:

    Article or follow up will be canceled under the following conditions:

    1. If your article or follow up contains 7 or more newsgroups in the header.
    2. If your article is cross posted to groups inappropriately, i.e. a personal ad in the singles group, a discussion in the personals group, these are only a few examples.
    3. Your article or follow up is cross posted to cause a flame war among the various groups you have posted to.
    4. Binaries by standard Usenet policy belong in binary groups. Please do not post binaries.
    5. There is no commercial advertising in this group.

    In general, the above guidelines follow that of other regional Usenet groups and spamming guidelines.

  6. The proper way to advertise on the internet:

    First, please keep in mind that Usenet is not the proper place to advertise. Usenet news was, and is, a place for discussion, this has been a very long standard on Usenet. For advertising your Web Page or BBS the best ways in which to do this are:

    1. Make sure your URL is listed on the search engines so people can easily find it.
    2. Get in touch with other Web page authors that have pages that are similar in nature to yours and set up mutual links between the two pages.
    3. For Usenet:
      1. Enter into Discussions that relate to what you may be advertising. If you have a dating service, there are a number of times when we have discussions on places to meet others, what people have found at a given dating service, etc. It is within these discussions you can easily offer input and information on a specific service.
      2. It is also considered wise to put a pointer to your URL in your signature file such that people can see this (note, not actually an ad but just a pointer) when they read your discussions on Usenet. Now part of this is done to help keep the spam down and the actual purpose of the newsgroup going. I am sure one can imagine what a newsgroup would look like if all it had was nothing more then commercials, one after another. There are thousands of web page dating services, matchmaking BBS's, not to mention the 900 numbers and if all of these places started advertising on a given newsgroup it would become nothing more than a non-stop commercial which is NOT the purpose of this group.
    4. Binaries:

      dfw.singles is not a binary newsgroup. Binary files are much larger than a normal post, require more drive space on a server and take much longer to download. Because of this many binary newsgroups are not carried by all providers and posting binary files to a non-binary group could cause the group to be DROPPED by some providers. Therefore, it is a usenet standard to post binary files only in binary groups. Do NOT post binary files in dfw.singles.

      So what do you do if you want to have people see a binary? In your ad put a pointer to a:

      1. FTP site one can download your file from
      2. Web site that they can see your binary at
      3. You may post your binary to alt.binaries.misc (separate posting, not cross posted) with a pointer in your ad letting people know where it is at.
      4. State in your ad that you can e-mail the binary upon request. But please do not post binaries to a non-binary newsgroup.

How dfw.singles is a companion to dfw.personals.

dfw.singles and dfw.personals are very similar in nature. They both serve the same purpose, to meet and make new friendships. dfw.singles, in a very basic way, has everything that dfw.personals has BUT does not have personal ads found in the dfw.personals. All conversation topics, discussions, planning GTGs can be found in dfw.singles. To the readers of dfw.personals,please remember.... no personals ads in dfw.singles, that also means that chit-chat and discussions are meant for dfw.singles not dfw.personals. These two groups are a package deal and in general serve the same people and same goals, so it will be to all party's benefits to allow everyone in on the same things. In general terms dfw.singles is to allow discussion and interaction so others can learn, enjoy and might even get to know one another better this way. dfw.personals can then be used to place a personal ad and allow a brief summ! ary for the readers to respond to. If by chance you do not have or your provider does not carry both of these groups, write to your system administrator requesting the missing group. I tend to believe if you subscribed to one, your site carries the other.

Do women read and post to the group?

Yes, women do read and post to these groups. Women may not be as high in numbers as men on the internet and on these groups, but they are out there. Women, in general, tend towards being a lurker (reader, not poster). There are many reasons for this of which I will only mention a few. In part because women who post will get flooded with mail and wannaf**ks so they tend to lurk and read what is going on, then respond in private. I am hoping as this group grows that this does not become an issue, that in a local, close group such as this that fear and shyness will not hold women back from interacting. Women, please do not feel shy when posting. Men, please show the utmost courtesy when responding to women as you are having a major affect on people here.

GTGs, Social Outings, Net-gatherings.

GTG, the term is used to imply a meeting of the members of a given newsgroup. So a gathering of net folks of any kind. It is a soul objective, to make new friends and interact along with dfw.personals group to form these GTGs. To start a GTG you just post the following in dfw.singles: (subject header): ( GTG ) . In the text of this message you announce you want to call a GTG (meeting, outing, etc.). You may want to use another subject header as well. One that will catch the readers eye. You then give the details of this meeting in your post. GTGs can be anywhere and anytime and anything. It is best to give plenty of notice in advance with details. Your event should not conflict with, be planned on the same day as another dfw.singles event.

So lets say you want a GTG, post message to both groups with the details something like this:

GTG : Sat 17 of July at 3:00pm

Place: Location of GTG (bar,club) or instructions to obtain direction if a personal address

Details: What is it about, a bar, ice cream place, hiking, etc

It is best to announce at least several days in advance so if there are problems we can (as a group) try to work them out. With this type of post, announcement, we then can, as a group, discuss and plan it out so it all works for most people. I would like to keep this very open for further suggestions and comments from people. It is the best idea I could come up with at the moment, and feel the most important thing is to get a gathering going by just announcing it.

Kill Files

There are a large number of news reading programs/software for various systems. It will be hard to describe kill files for each type of program that is on the market. The main point is to know that your specific news reading software has a means to kill/filter out various articles that you do not wish to read. It is best to read up on your specific software and become familiar with the various ways to use kill files and filters.

How dfw.singles is a party in many ways.

A singles newsgroup is nothing more than an electronic version of a party you may attend. In most parties you will usually find (being very general here) three types of social interaction:
  1. The person who will sit in the corner watching everyone. These folks are referred to as "Lurkers" on newsgroups. They read and are here, but never seen. This person may enjoy this very much or may be shy and or nervous. He/she may pull someone aside in private for conversation. On a newsgroup this is known as e-mail.
  2. The other type is somebody who came to the party, will be usually very quiet and end up leaving the party for hours before coming back (in a newsgroup can be days or weeks). May mingle with a few folks in the party.
  3. The third type are the ones who are very active, very lively, will mingle all night long....go from conversation to conversation. This person will usually meet many people over the course of the night, may make many friends as a result.

One other important note: It may appear on the newsgroup, that many folks know each other, are the best of friends. This is most of time, not the case. Sometimes it is easier to interact on a computer for some people. This may appear as being friendly and knowing many people, but is not always the case.

Excerpts taken from another regional singles group.

Q: Just what is appropriate on dfw.singles?
A: Apart from what has been mentioned above, pretty much anything goes. Think of dfw.singles as the electronic version of something that's partway between a cocktail party and a soap opera. Except at this sort of cocktail party all the guests have bags over their heads and communicate by leaving messages on a sofa, where some messages become irretrievably lost down the back. Appropriate posts should be both interactive and entertaining--that is, their content should both invite the participation of others in the electronic conversation and be entertaining to its readers. You might pose an open question to the readership about some aspect of the human condition as it applies to singleness or you might reply to another contributor's post and add an observation that sheds light on a different aspect of the issue under discussion or just makes some people out there laugh and shoot Lapsang Souchong out through their noses onto their computer keyboards.

Q: Is there anything that should be avoided?
A:
  1. If there are to be any rules, perhaps trying to be non-judgemental on other peoples' views should be one. Discussion is fine, illogical rhetoric tends to get peoples' backs up, especially slanging matches on religion, vegetarianism, curtains, etc., and it's very boring indeed for the rest of us.

  2. Also posting of PERSONAL phone numbers & addresses is NOT recommended. Although most of use are comfortable in this group with each other, you have to remember there are alot of lurkers and nuts on the internet. Posts

  3. It's also good form to avoid messages that are pretty much content-free: don't, for example, quote an entire message that you agree with and then append "Yeah, what she said" to the end. Test messages should also be avoided--if you're unsure whether your messages are getting out or not, post something to alt.test and you'll get confirmation messages from various sites around the US and elsewhere to let you know your posting software is working.

  4. On dfw.singles, like any other group, it's best to avoid the urge to post spelling flames. Unless you can turn the spelling error into an outrageously witty (or just slightly witty) observation, there's no reason to post spelling flames publicly.

  5. Also, bear in mind that this is a public forum, posting an article here is rather like writing an article in a newspaper - but be careful about mentioning newspaper articles because they do create some heated debate in these here parts. Anyway, this being a public forum it is best not to mention names or other personal information such as Phone numbers or personal addresses. I'm rather unclear on how the laws of liable relate to electronic publication, but it's usually best to err on the side of caution. On that note Post containing personal information that seems to be posted as a revenge post or to cause stress to any member of the group may be could result in an article being canceled instantly and without warning by an authorized moderation device (human or otherwise) for the group in question.Except that these are no longer unwritten laws, because they're written down.

Remember that every poster on dfw.singles had to post his or her first message sometime and, even now, it's no more difficult for you to press the followup-key than it is for anyone else. Sometimes it helps just to read the newsgroup for a while--get a feel for what's going on and what the other posters are like, what sorts of topics have already been beaten to death many times over and what sorts of insights, knowledge, and experience you might have to add that others might not think of. When you do decide to leap into the fray and post something, don't be discouraged if it doesn't get a response right away, everybody posts stuff that is ignored or not followed up. There is nothing malicious in this - many more people read here than post.

Article Format

Article Format

  1. Articles posted to any D/FW regional newsgroup MUST be flat-ASCII. This means:
    1. No Binary postings, uuencoded or base64.
    2. No MIME encoded messages. Posts SHOULD be readable by the simplest text-only newsreader.
    3. No HTML, although HTML-like emoticons are acceptable.
    4. No characters with a value greater than 127 in any part of the post.

  2. Posts SHOULD be shorter than 30K in size. Longer items SHOULD be made available for FTP or HTTP download and a pointer to that file posted.

  3. Posts MUST contain a valid From address, unless the ".invalid" domain is used (see RFC 1036). Spam blocks are acceptable. By definition USENET newsgroups are a broadcast medium. If you have a post that needs to be anonymous, it is not a valid topic for a D/FW regional newsgroup. Post this material elsewhere.

  4. ROT13 encoding SHOULD NOT be used on any field in the headers. Nor should any attempts, except minimal spam blocks, be made to obscure the origins of the posting.

  5. Posts MUST contain a "Abuse-Reports-To:" or "X-Complaints-To:" header with a valid email address. When RFC1036 is updated, this line SHOULD be adjusted to comply with the latest specifications. Adding or replacing this header is the responsibility of the news server where the article was injected.

Failing to follow the above formatting requirements could result in an article being canceled instantly and without warning by an authorized moderation device (human or otherwise) for the group in question.

Ending Statement

Questions can be posted to the groups if you are just unsure and want to know before doing something.

First written on DEC. 28, 1998


Copyright 1998,1999, D. Vondrasek
Copyright 1999, the DFW USENET Cabal
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